I'm at home with a sick family and so I'm reflecting on all the crappy stuff that has happened to me this year. Here's a small list for your viewing enjoyment:
Wrath of the Pink Eye:
Associated with this 3-week bummer I catalog the following humiliating events:
1. I wore an eyepatch.
2. After 3 hours of waiting in lines (with the pink eye) I was asked to disassemble the frame on my motorcycle so they could read a serial number. It was 110 degrees outside and I had to do it with tools that someone from the DMV gave me. I cut my hand. Then they told me to go to a different DMV. And then, I was kicked out of that DMV because of my pink eye. And the DMV still wouldn't register my vehicle.
3. My wife wouldn't look at me.
4. My father-in-law saw me, stepped away in horror, and said something that I can only translate as "uungh."
5. I wore an eyepatch.
6. I interviewed for several positions while with pink eye (I am proud to report that I was hired twice even looking as I did)
7. My insurance, for some crazy reason, wouldn't cover pink eye. A doctor's office demanded 175 dollars and, when I refused, they said they'd do it for 80. I left untreated.
The Rear-ender
While driving to a doctor's office (to sell a copier) a series of misfortunes befell upon me. Forsooth!
1. I had a stomach virus I was recovering from.
2. I was rear ended on Interstate 17.
3. The lady who rear ended me had no license.
4. The lady had no documentation.
5. The lady had no English.
6. But the lady DID have an insurance card--from a company I had never heard from before.
7. I translated her end of the story for the policeman. He cited her for, well, dumb driving, and then wrote out a police report. I was now late for my meeting to sign papers with the doctor, and the squirts had remanifested itself. Not proud of it.
8. And the silver lining: I got the sale. As a result, back at work I became the stuff of legends. "That Shane crapped his pants and STILL made a sale."
Wrath of the Pink Eye:
Associated with this 3-week bummer I catalog the following humiliating events:
1. I wore an eyepatch.
2. After 3 hours of waiting in lines (with the pink eye) I was asked to disassemble the frame on my motorcycle so they could read a serial number. It was 110 degrees outside and I had to do it with tools that someone from the DMV gave me. I cut my hand. Then they told me to go to a different DMV. And then, I was kicked out of that DMV because of my pink eye. And the DMV still wouldn't register my vehicle.
3. My wife wouldn't look at me.
4. My father-in-law saw me, stepped away in horror, and said something that I can only translate as "uungh."
5. I wore an eyepatch.
6. I interviewed for several positions while with pink eye (I am proud to report that I was hired twice even looking as I did)
7. My insurance, for some crazy reason, wouldn't cover pink eye. A doctor's office demanded 175 dollars and, when I refused, they said they'd do it for 80. I left untreated.
The Rear-ender
While driving to a doctor's office (to sell a copier) a series of misfortunes befell upon me. Forsooth!
1. I had a stomach virus I was recovering from.
2. I was rear ended on Interstate 17.
3. The lady who rear ended me had no license.
4. The lady had no documentation.
5. The lady had no English.
6. But the lady DID have an insurance card--from a company I had never heard from before.
7. I translated her end of the story for the policeman. He cited her for, well, dumb driving, and then wrote out a police report. I was now late for my meeting to sign papers with the doctor, and the squirts had remanifested itself. Not proud of it.
8. And the silver lining: I got the sale. As a result, back at work I became the stuff of legends. "That Shane crapped his pants and STILL made a sale."
Take that, world. Take that, indeed.
